I was never taught how to love myself, how to discover what I truly love, or how to feel comfortable being alone with myself.
I lived for other people more than I ever lived for me.
I let people into my world believing that was what love and connection were supposed to look like. I thought the more people I had around me, the more fun, secure, and valuable I would feel.
My identity became built around how many people liked me, appreciated me, respected me, and loved me.
I used to think having more people around meant I mattered more.
But then shit happened and I learned that :
Self love is not earned by how many people surround you.
Self love is earned by how well you protect yourself.
By how deeply you honor your own needs.
By how much you value your time, your peace, and your energy.
The more freely you allow people into your life, the more chances you give them to hurt you, misunderstand you, or take you for granted.
So Please Protect Your Energy
Protect your energy like it is your most valuable treasure.
Because it is.
Filter carefully.
Filter out the people who constantly drain your energy with negativity and complaints.
Filter out the people who leave you feeling heavy, anxious, emotionally exhausted, or disconnected from yourself after every time you talk to them.
Filter out the people who do not value your presence, your time, or your heart, the ones who only come close when they want something from you.
Filter out the people who disrespect you and leave your nervous system feeling tense, unsafe, and on edge instead of calm, secure, and at peace.
And most importantly
stop abandoning yourself just to make other people stay.
Choose Your People Wisely
Life is too short to spend around people who constantly make you feel small, drained, or heavy.
You are not here just to be useful to others, to please them or impress them. You are here to live. To experience. To grow.
You cannot choose the family you were born into.
But you can choose the people you allow to stay in your life.
Be selective when choosing friends, business partners and love.
The people closest to you can either help build your life or quietly destroy it.
Do not let people sink you.
I’ve learned that happiness that comes from other people is never truly lasting, it’s fragile. Some people may be lucky enough to find it, but some never do.
But real happiness can come from the light, sunsets, trees, flowers, hearing a beautiful song. The feeling of touching a piano for the first time, learning how to run, finally allowing myself to experience new things again.
That’s the kind of happiness that makes my heart sing, the kind that makes me feel grounded, alive, and happy like a little cute kid discovering little pieces of the world with curiosity and wonder.
I learned the hard way that real joy comes from feeling secure within myself, from being able to feel happy even when I am alone, to be able to say NO if I don’t feel like doing it .
The joy of having my own things, my own life, my own passions, and things I truly care about, rather than constantly focusing on other people.
The joy of having the courage to put myself out there, to write, to talk, to expose myself to other people , to strangers, and to the world, even when it makes me feels naked as hell.
Loneliness does not come from having no one around me.
Real loneliness comes from not knowing who I am.
It’s the emptiness inside that grew and scream because I spent so long looking for myself outside of me, while abandoning the parts within that needed love, care, and attention.
So the true is when you become your own source of love, safety, and validation, you stop begging for crumbs from other people.
And when you become the light for yourself, you can become a light for others.
Just because your own existence already can bring love, joy and hope.
And that is when your life truly begins.
